HandHeld
by Curiositykils
Summary: One time I held Draco Malfoy's hand and four times Draco Malfoy held mine. 5 loosely linked Draco/Hermione one-shots. Complete
1. Chapter 1

There are supposedly five stages of grief.

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

As I look around the Great Hall I see bloodied faces at various phases.

George Weasley is sitting at what was once the Gryffindor table silently, staring in front of him without really seeing anything.

The hole in the side of his face is more prominent with his hair being askew with sweat and blood.

I move forward into his view and he snaps out of the daze focusing on me instead. I offer a small smile, which he returns, before turning to the empty seat next to him, his mouth open and about to form words.

I see him do a double-take as he realises that there's no-one sitting there.

His shadow has disappeared forever.

He's alone.

ooo

_Denial_

ooo_  
_

I can't bear to look at him any longer and selfishly turn away as he looks back at me to draw strength.

My gaze lands on Ron. Sweet Ron. Ron who is currently dragging the half unconscious body of Gregory Goyle across the Great Hall to where the Aurors have aggregated.

Goyle's body leaves a trail of blood behind him. More blood in a Hall where every surface is caked in it. Who cares about a little more staining the floor? Especially if it's that of the enemy.

I'm unsure of what to make about our kiss. In the moment before going into battle I needed to remind myself of what I was fighting for. Ron was one such thing.

I see him dump Goyle's body against the wall and with a swift blow he punches his face causing Goyle to finally give into the deep abyss.

People see but no-one says anything.

Like I said- Who cares?

The next time Goyle re-awakens he'll be seeing the inside of an Azkaban cell. I feel slight resentment at Ron for taking away his last chance to see the dawn sun shining.

Yes that kiss was most definitely a mistake.

ooo

_Anger_

ooo

Dennis Creevy is sitting a few chairs down from George and is most surprisingly, being comforted by Lavender Brown. His head lies on her chest while her arms are rubbing against his back in a soothing motion.

She looks up at me and catches my eye. I move towards them but stop when I hear Dennis pleading with her.

"Possessions and your own life won't change anything little Creevy" I think cruelly. Words that won't be appreciated at present.

I walk away from them and out of the hall.

ooo

_Bargaining_

ooo

The fresh air smells different to the stink I've become accustomed to over the last few hours.

It smells almost strange.

I panic and gulp it in.

I hear a soft weeping sound coming from nearby.

Professor Sinistra, her hair falling around her face, softly weeps into her hands.

I step forward to move away when her head shoots up wildly upon hearing the crunch of a twig beneath my feet. I stare at her and she stares at me. A name comes forth from her lips before she resumes crying even harder. I reel in shock unable to comprehend the new information she has given me and hurriedly move way.

ooo

_Depression_

ooo

The stone bench facing out to the Great Lake, my haven, is currently being occupied by a blond-haired boy.

I stop walking and stand there staring at the sun shining of his head. It blinds my eyes but I welcome it.

His body stiffens as if he senses someone is staring at him and his head swivels around.

Silver eyes pierce mine.

He looks at me for ten seconds but says nothing, eventually turning back to face the lake.

I move forward accepting his invitation.

Invitation or Indifference? It doesn't matter. There's enough space for the two of us.

I sit down next to him and we both silently watch the sun glistening on the water's surface. Hours are what it feels like but 17 minutes is the reality.

Harry walks up to me, stiffening when he sees who I'm sitting next too. He says nothing for which I'm grateful, simply informing me of the gathering that is about to take place in the Hall before walking away.

I take one last look at the scene in front of me before standing. I wait for him to stand too. He looks up at me, his eyes painfully confused and vulnerable. My heart clenches in a way it should not.

I embrace the feeling.

My hand moves forward and I wrap it around his wrist before moving down to twist my fingers with his.

He stares at our clasped hands for a single moment before tightening his hold.

We hold onto each other as we walk back across the grounds.

ooo

_Acceptance_

ooo

* * *

_Author's Note: This is my first ever Draco/Hermione fic. It's going to be five chapters long and I've already written them all. By chapters, I mean they could be considered individual one-shots but they are all loosely linked to each other. Please review and let me know what you thought. Until next time, Curiositykils_


	2. Chapter 2

It's been a year since the final battle.

Everyone has returned back to Hogwarts for a celebration of our triumphs. Members of the Order line one end of the Hall, chatting away merrily. Ex death eaters and their families line the other end.

A clear divide still exists between both parties.

Triumph? I see no triumph.

Speeches are given before a moments silence is held for the loved ones lost. As every head in the room bows I catch sight of him. It's been exactly a year since I've last seen him.

A year ago, upon our return to the Great Hall, the Aurors promptly led him away along with his father, who was still clutching onto his mask like it would be his saviour.

I read in the paper that he was acquitted of his crimes due to diminished responsibility. His father was sentenced to life. He and his mother have not been seen in the society they once ruled since that day.

I'm surprised to see that there aren't more faces staring at the two of them than there are at present.

His eyes flick up to catch mine and I forget to look away in embarrassment. His gaze holds mine briefly before he too bows his head. I follow his lead.

The silence is broken uncouthly when the band hired for the festivities strike up their instruments. An old waltz song fills the Hall and couples start to fill the gap in between the two sides.

I remain where I am; preferring to stand and watch the other couples.

The simple truth? I have no-one to dance with.

Ron who is standing next to me leads a four month pregnant Lavender out onto the floor. I watch them, making sure to keep the loneliness off my face.

A movement catches my eye and I see him stepping away from the wall he was leaning on.

As he whispers something to his mother I do a quick glance around the room taking in the females who are currently standing on the sidelines, trying to guess who he will choose.

I turn my eyes in his direction again and my breath hitches in my throat.

His gaze is fiercely fixed on me and as he cuts across the floor, people move out of his way. He comes to a stop in front of me and holds out his hand in invitation.

This time I'm sure it's an invitation.

His lips move but his words pass over my head. I can barely hear the music over the sound of blood rushing in my ears. He stares into my eyes for a second longer before entwining his hand with mine and leading me onto the floor.

His is the hand that I repeatedly search for throughout the evening as I take part in the expected dances with fellow Order members.

His is the hand that ebbs the loneliness away.

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_Author's Note: So here's Chapter 2. Please review and tell me what you think. Thank You for reading and Until next time, Curiositykils.  
_


	3. Chapter 3

We still receive stares as we walk down the street together in Diagon Alley.

Some find our budding relationship romantic whilst others find it horrific.

I admit that even though I know their opinions should hold no matter to me, I sometimes find myself avidly listening to their comments or secretly reading the stories that are printed in Witch Weekly.

All this however is forgotten when I'm with him. He fills my world to the brink leaving no room for such trivial matter.

It's been a month since the 1 year anniversary and in that time we've gone on four dates.

One every Saturday.

We've grown increasingly comfortable in each other's presence. He's started to talk about how life was in the time he was under Voldemort's control, whereas when we first started dating the topic of the war in general was considered to be taboo.

Since the anniversary celebration, Narcissa has been integrating herself back into society. Tonight she's hosting a soiree at the Manor and demanded that Draco be there.

The Malfoy family showing a new united front to the wizarding world is what Draco quoted when he told me. Unfortunately since it's a Saturday, Draco and I have decided to have our fifth date at the Manor.

I can't say I'm looking forward to it.

Meeting Narcissa Malfoy for the first time since Draco and I began seeing each other, especially in a drawing room where I was once tortured by her sister is not my idea of a perfect date.

Draco however is excited his mother is finally meeting me. How excited Narcissa actually is to see me (the Number one Mudblood dating her only Pureblood son) has yet to be determined.

A knock on the front door informs me of his presence.

He's wearing rich velvet dark green dress robes. Ever the Slytherin.

I instantly wish I'd paid the extra 50 Galleons to get the fancier yet more expensive dress robes from the boutique in Hogsmeade.

Too late now Hermione.

He asks me if I'm ready and upon my nod wraps me in his arms, apparting us away.

Malfoy Manor looks just as dark and foreboding as the last time I was here and I have to compel myself not to turn around and apparate back to someplace warmer.

Draco lays his hand on the small of my back and leads me to the closed doors of the drawing room. I can hear the faint din coming from behind.

The doors magically open and we step in.

To say that a hush falls across the room is somewhat of an understatement. Every eye belonging to a male or the mothers of single witches falls on Draco before switching to me.

I barely notice the extra looks, too busy perceiving the ones given to me as I walked in by said single females.

Out of the crowd strides Narcissa Malfoy. She has a warm and happy look on her face.

I vaguely wonder how good of an actress she is.

She walks up to Draco first and he leans down to peck her cheeks, before turning to me. She looks over me objectively and I stand a little straighter, my chin moving to stick out slightly.

Her smile broadens and she welcomes me into her home.

The hush of the room slowly breaks up as she moves away from us to start a conversation with the Greengrass family who have just arrived.

Regrettably, her warm welcome (the highlight of what looks to be a very boring evening) is short-lived.

Draco and I move around the room participating in the mindless talk that is expected of him.

More correctly, he participates whilst I am ignored.

As we move from couple to couple, family to family, I get more and more upset and angry. It is being made plainly clear to me that I will never fit into this world but what I really hate is how different this Draco is compared to my Draco.

The faces blur into each other as I try to control my emotions.

The final straw comes when I hear a screech that I would usually associate with a member of the banshee family emit from the mouth of one Pansy Parkinson. She and her family are standing at the arrival doors, their eyes moving back and forth between Draco and me.

Pansy twists herself out of her date's grip (Theodore Nott), storms up to where we're standing, prior to taking a deep breath and letting out her diatribe.

The crowd once more hushes and turn to face us.

Draco is now yelling back at her and I can see them both gesturing wildly.

My mind starts to get light headed and I do the one thing I've been longing to do since we arrived.

Destination, Determination and Deliberation.

I apparate to the coat closet.

Now that I'm finally alone the tears that I've held in check for so long fall free. I wipe them away causing my hands to dirty with a mixture of tears and make up.

After much searching I finally find my coat and snatch it down from the charm that's holding it upright. I'm in the process of putting it on when the door to the closet opens and light pools in.

I'm momentraily blinded and when my eyes focus I see Draco standing in front of me.

I turn away ashamed and shove my left arm throught the sleeve.

He calls out my name softly and I cover my face with my hands, crying harder.

I feel him move around me and he pulls my hands away from my face, squeezing them tightly in his.

He apologises for bringing me here before waiting with me until I'm all cried out.

The whole time he never once lets go of my hands.

He asks me if I'm ready to leave and I nod. He lets go of my hand to grab his own coat before re-taking it and leading me out.

That night is the first time he stays over.

We spend the whole night in my bed wrapped together.

He finally lets go of my hand the following morning before leaving for work.

I'm not worried. We have another date scheduled for later that day.

Our fifth one. I've discounted yesterdays.

He's taking me to the wizarding ice-rink. I have not skated at all in my life and he'll probably have to hold my hand the whole time we're there.

I smile at the thought.

* * *

_Author's Note: So here's chapter three! We're coming close to the end! Two more chapters left! I want to thank everyone who's put this story on their favourites, alert lists or even put me down as one of their favourite authors! It means the world to me so thank you! Until next time, Curiositykils _


	4. Chapter 4

It's set to be the wedding of the century, or at least the wedding of the century until Harry's wedding to Ginny in 3 months time.

This doesn't stop the butterflies that are constantly flittering around my stomach.

I'm scared, but it's a good scared.

Spending the rest of my life with Draco by my side is something I've been dreaming about for a long time.

The wedding preparation has been manic. I know mine is not the first muggle-born/pureblood marriage, I mean there was Harry's parents for Merlin's sake not to mention countless others but it seems like no-else in the wizarding world has had muggle and wizarding ceremonies occurring on the same day and at the same time.

It feels like two weddings instead of one.

I thank my lucky stars that Narcissa has been so involved. Along with Mrs Weasley and my mother we've managed to cover all the bases, muggle and wizard alike.

Now the only thing left for me to do is walk down the aisle and get married.

Minerva is performing the wizard ceremony whilst Blaise's wife's sister's husband is our priest.

Explaining the muggle process to Draco had been a long and difficult job.

After coming across the image of Christ hung on the Cross in one of my books he'd been terrified at the idea and for a while, point blank refused to participate in the muggle portion of the wedding.

I believe he made a comment about the torture the Death Eaters subjected their victims too being nothing compared to nailing a man to a cross and making him wear thorns around his head.

I wasn't particularly religious and doing a muggle ceremony was mostly for the benefit of my parents and relatives but I'd been slightly hurt at his refusal.

Surprisingly, it was Narcissa who eventually convinced him that he should take part in both ceremonies. She'd been very interested when I explained the traditions involved and it was from that day on that I made sure to involve her fully in the whole wedding process.

I cough slightly as I breathe in the perfume being plied on me in copious amounts and it isn't long before I find myself ready at the church doors, my hand linked through my father's.

The wedding march begins to play and the doors open.

I breathe in through pursed lips to steady myself. My eyes search quickly for Draco and remain fixed on him as I walk down the aisle.

Looking at my friends and family will cause me to blush and I don't want Draco to lift my veil to find a tomato-faced bride under it.

As long as I focus on him, no-one else registers.

As we reach Father Richards and Minerva, we stop and my father kisses my veil covered cheek before taking his seat.

I turn to face Draco.

His smile is something I'll remember to my dying day. I can see the slight tremble in his fingers that betray his nerves as he moves to lift my veil. Upon seeing my face he smiles even wider and brings his hands to hold mine.

They stop trembling and tighten once before relaxing.

He's saying hello.

The ceremonies are quite anti-climatic considering the effort we put into them but the only thing that I care about is that I'm becoming Mrs Draco Malfoy.

I smile as I realise Draco will no longer be able to call me Granger whenever he's annoyed at me.

I'm brought back to reality when it's time for the vows to be said. Mine end up tumbling out of my mouth.

When its Draco's turn I find he squeezes my hand at the end of every sentence as if to make me completely comprehend that the promises he's making are one's he'll stand by.

When he comes to the last sentence his voice drops to a whisper.

That's the promise I was waiting for ever since we began dating.

The promise to hold my hand always.

* * *

_Author's Note: Next chapter is the last in this particular instalment, so get your tissues ready! It'll be up soon and I apologise in advance, my fingers started typing away and I know some of you will hate the ending…but we'll leave that for now! Thank you for reading and until next time, Curiositykils.  
_


	5. Chapter 5

I have never felt such pain in all my twenty-four years and this includes the time Bellatrix tortured me with the Cruciatus curse.

At least then the pain wasn't as prolonged as this.

Medi-witches and Healer Keele are rushing around me, and through my squinted eyes I can see Draco's head hovering behind them worriedly.

I want to reach out for him, but at that second, another contraction hits me and my outstretched hand balls up into a tight fist.

I feel my nails break the skin of my palm but I can't retract them. Instead they dig in deeper causing small amounts of blood to pool at the puncture wounds.

Twenty seconds later, I fall back onto the bed breathing heavily. My hands sting as I rub them on the bed-sheets beneath me in a vain effort to dry them.

Something isn't right. I can feel it. It shouldn't hurt this much.

Draco finally manages to make his way to my bedside.

I turn my head tiredly to the side and look into his eyes.

He takes my right hand in his, rubbing the sensitive skin on the back with his thumb in soothing circles.

For a few moments it's just the two of us in the room. The chaos surrounding us fades away.

Peace doesn't last long.

I grit my teeth together as another contraction hits me.

The medi-witch tells me too push and I do so, my throat making a strangling voice.

Draco tightens his hold on my hand and whispers comforting words against my ear. I can't make them out, but just the gesture makes me love him so much more.

I push until I run out of breath before once again collapsing backwards.

I can't do this anymore.

I must have said the words out loud as Draco's face swims into my vision and he speaks so urgently that this time I do hear his words.

He's telling me to hold on. That it won't be much longer until I'm holding our son or daughter in my hands and feeling like it was all worth it. He's telling me to breathe.

If I'm honest I never imagined Draco to be the type of father to come into the delivery room with me. In nearly all other Pureblood families (even the Weasley's) the father stays in the waiting room outside with most of the other family members and awaits the news of the birth of his child.

I should know Draco better than to think he would do that.

Throughout the four years we've been married he's been permanently attached to my side. I was stupid to think this time would be any different.

I'll pretend the pregnancy has addled my brain function.

After all, who would hold my hand if he wasn't there. I doubt he'd let a stranger or even a friend take his place.

Even though I realise this, the scene of him demonstrating how I should be breathing makes me smile.

It takes four more pushes for my child to finally enter the world.

I feel a mixture of happiness, relief and exhaustion.

I turn my head to face Draco only to find him looking away from me, his eyes fixated on the bundle that's being cradled in the medi-witch's arms.

I'm so tired. My head feels so heavy. Sleep is calling to me and I smile at the idea of resting.

I force my eyes to stay open.

I want to see my child. Hold them in my arms. Gaze at their beautiful face so I can memorise and imprint it into my brain forever.

Draco kisses me in the middle of my sweaty forehead and whispers four words to me.

The words I was waiting for. I smile.

My eyes start to droop again and this time I let them.I'll hold my baby when I wake up.

The last thought that passes through my mind is how I'm glad we painted the nursery the colour we did. Draco won the bet in the end.

My lips stretch into one last smile as my hand slips out of Draco's hold forever.

He has a new hand to hold from now onwards.

o

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Draco Malfoy and (late) Hermione Malfoy

proudly announce the birth of their

beautiful baby girl

Rose Athena Malfoy

born 22:19 on 24/11/ 2010

at St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.

"_A baby is Merlin's opinion that life should go on." __**Carl Sandburg**_

o

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_Author's Note: The End. The original quote by Carl Sandburg was "A baby is God's opinion that life should go on."_


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